just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I have fence marks all over my body
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize
