after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
