I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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