I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
