and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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