I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Randomize
