Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
