Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
either way he was missing a nipple.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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