Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
