I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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