I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
