hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
