Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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