Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
