we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
