I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
