I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Your topless pictures make me question reality
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
