yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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