Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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