this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
