just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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