Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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