I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
