Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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