My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
