smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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