woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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