She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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