so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
