I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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