I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
i drank out of a bidet.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Randomize