you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
