I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize
