It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Randomize
