i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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