his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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