This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Vodka?
Forever.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
