Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
