glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Come share oat with me in your robe
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
