Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
