You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
