that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
We are two peas in an std pod
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
