Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
