Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
