so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
