I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
