i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
i just had sex bonerless
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
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