Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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