i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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