Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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